Even The Coppertone Baby Makes Fun Of Me

I was told tonight that I am too pale...

Didn't I already discussed this topic a few posts back? Did no one read the epic tale of sunburns, tanning beds and ugly hats?

So anyway, someone came up to me tonight, right before church service was to begin and said I needed to get out of the house and into the sun. That I looked too white...

I'm a native Floridian...of course I'm going to stay inside...8 months out of the year the heat and humidity is miserable. There are two weeks in January that I usually go outside. But you have to time it just right. Any other time of the year and you're just asking for trouble.

But people are apparently concerned enough with my ghost-like appearance to mention the fact that I lack pigment, and look like a pink-eyed rabbit. I appreciate it, really I do...And I know my dermatologist would probably love the extra business an attempted tan would bring, but I think it's probably best that I stay pale for now. I think my feelings on the subject of my skin is best said in a poem...

The Florida sun was hot today,
blazing down upon my skin
A lily-white shade it is,
thanks to my kin.
The sun is my enemy,
creating all sorts of spots,
Sometimes I mumble to myself,
"my skin looks like Connect-the-Dots"
As the day draws long,
and my skin turns to red,
Any chance of a golden, brown tan
is now most certainly dead.
The sun starts to set,
turning the sky an orange hue,
and my elbow is hurting,
how I missed that spot, I haven't a clue.
So tonight in the coolness of home
where my skin can rejoice,
"More creams, more lotions, more aloe!"
I'll cry out,
in a loud, miserable voice.


"Virtuous Wannabe" said...

those that made that comment have obviously never had a skin cancer removed.

IC Jesus said...


Let start an "Official" Heineywhite Club - you can even be President!!

Whatever happened to the Edwardian era where they actually dusted their hair & skin white to be more attractive? It makes me want to be a Geisha girl when I grow up. I could always dye my hair black & wear red lipstick ;) Cathy has some Asian style clothing I can borrow (I know, I know – big surprise)

Who is this invisible "person" who determines the definition of health & beauty?

All I know is the Word tells me I am fearfully & wonderfully made so I have decided to love myself just as my Creator made me!

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