7/5/08

He Only Weighs 116 Lbs-Where's He Putting Them?


The leftovers of 4th of July,
potato salad,
baked beans,
crunchy coleslaw (oh baby, yum)
seafood salad (okay, I just wiped drool off)
but sadly, no stuffed eggs
(I don't give the devil credit for anything good)

These guys are just sitting there, in the fridge,
waiting patiently...

I didn't mention hot dogs and there is a reason...

It has to do with the news...

I can't watch the news on the 4th of July,

Why?

Because the news runs a constant loop
of the hot dog eating contest
at Coney Island in New York...

and I gag each time I see it,

even if I catch just a glimpse out of the corner of my eye...

I don't gag...I'm not that kind of gal...
I've cleaned up so many different kinds of messes
as a mother, that my gag reflex, out of desperation,
took a permanent vacation...

But a few years ago, someone turned on the TV,
after everyone had gone home from our 4th cookout,
and there he was...

a little tiny guy,
with a Japanese Kamacazi headband and
a Nathan's Hot Dog t-shirt,
(the uniform I guess for hot dog eating contests)
SHOVING, hot dogs, (ugh...)
hot dogs in the bun,
that he had DIPPED in a glass of water (whoosy...)
to make the hot dogs GO DOWN easier
64 of them...
(yep, just gagged a little)

It's gross enough to make you want to give 'em up...

And so now you know why I didn't mention the hot dog,
even though we ate them yesterday
and I think a few might be still lurking around in the fridge...

on the lookout for that guy in the headband

No comments: