He Only Weighs 116 Lbs-Where's He Putting Them?
The leftovers of 4th of July,
crunchy coleslaw (oh baby, yum)
seafood salad (okay, I just wiped drool off)
but sadly, no stuffed eggs
(I don't give the devil credit for anything good)
These guys are just sitting there, in the fridge,
I didn't mention hot dogs and there is a reason...
It has to do with the news...
I can't watch the news on the 4th of July,
Because the news runs a constant loop
of the hot dog eating contest
at Coney Island in New York...
and I gag each time I see it,
even if I catch just a glimpse out of the corner of my eye...
I don't gag...I'm not that kind of gal...
I've cleaned up so many different kinds of messes
as a mother, that my gag reflex, out of desperation,
took a permanent vacation...
But a few years ago, someone turned on the TV,
after everyone had gone home from our 4th cookout,
and there he was...
a little tiny guy,
with a Japanese Kamacazi headband and
a Nathan's Hot Dog t-shirt,
(the uniform I guess for hot dog eating contests)
SHOVING, hot dogs, (ugh...)
hot dogs in the bun,
that he had DIPPED in a glass of water (whoosy...)
to make the hot dogs GO DOWN easier
64 of them...
(yep, just gagged a little)
It's gross enough to make you want to give 'em up...
And so now you know why I didn't mention the hot dog,
even though we ate them yesterday
and I think a few might be still lurking around in the fridge...
on the lookout for that guy in the headband
Her cart was dripping. The grocery cart she was pushing around the produce section of the big box store I had just entered was drippin...
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I have this weird phenomenon, an odd occurrence, a strange thing that happens to me every 4th of July. I can't watch the news on the 4...