7/22/08

Proverbs and Psalms

This post is hard to write...I have been in a self-imposed pity-party for months now. I jumped into the pit myself...no one pushed me, lured me, or tricked me. I just jumped, eyes wide open.

My sisters-in-Christ have encouraged me, loved me, and tolerated me. I started to reach out a couple of weeks ago, and they have blessed me with words of comfort, accountability, and truth. And today I finally reached up for that first rung out of the pit. Around 6:15 p.m. this evening, I grasped that rung and got my foot firmly planted to push up. Why? Because I finally understand why...why i jumped into this particular pit.

This morning Mark sent me an email containing Scripture that he read early today, probably around 5:00 a.m.

It's Proverbs 24:30-34 NAS


I passed by the field of the sluggard
And by the vineyard of the man
lacking sense,
And behold, it was completely
overgrown with thistles;
Its surface was covered with nettles,
And its stone wall was broken down.
When I saw, I reflected upon it;
I looked, and received instruction.
A little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to rest,
Then your poverty will come as a robber
And your want like an armed man.


It took me all day to digest this Scripture and then realization and understanding finally came these evening...

Solomon's words speak to me this; that I am at this moment in my life,
both the sluggard and the vineyard.

My flesh is the lazy farmer...
my slothfulness and self-indulgence over the past fourteen months
has robbed me of good.
I have let the enemy use against me,
the failure of our business and the mourning of it.

He turned an event into a lifestyle. And I let him.


Our business failure hurt and it felt like a death, something that was alive and now isn't. But instead of moving on, starting fresh, I've continued in a state of self-pity and "don't-want-too", encouraged by the enemy and perpetuated by this misleading flesh,
feeling good about doing nothing.


My spirit is the vineyard...
I've allowed it to become overgrown with the weeds of this world.
The thorns, thistles and nettles have taken over, running wild.
The stone wall has begun to crumble,
allowing the vermin and venom of the enemy a way in.

Sleep, slumber, and still hands are all
that my flesh and spirit have wanted
these past months,
and I have been willing and happy to indulge them.
And the result?


A mind that has wondered.
A hand that has been idle.
A heart that has become lukewarm.
A spirit that has suffered.

Tonight I cling to His promise in Psalm 73:21-24

When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless, I am continually
with You;
You have taken hold of my right
hand.
With Your counsel You will
guide me,
And afterward receive me in glory.

He has grabbed my right hand and is guiding me out of this pit.
I reached up and He got a hold.

Lord, please help me not to look down as You lift me up.

2 comments:

"Virtuous Wannabe" said...

Deb, this is beautiful....what a neat way to see the scriptures. I certainly am inspired by it....let's not go to each others parties, O.K.? I told Mike at lunch today, that Satan (not that I like to credit that Punk with anything) wants us to feel so defeated that we will just lay down, ball like a baby, and become self absorbed in it...I know in my heart and mind that is non productive and I agree to lift you up in prayer my sister if you'll please do the same for me....I love you!

Barb said...

Deb, Hallelujah to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! The slickness of the enemy is extremely crafty. He's as cunning as the day is long, BUT, remembering that we REMAIN CONQUERORS gives me hope each and every day. Truly, it is a choice for us to make each hour of each day, if we want to be amongst the thorns and thistles of this life or in the luscious land of plenty. I don't fully understand why we get in those slumps or even how we allow it to happen. BUT, the point is that at some place along the line, we have realized it, decided to stop settling for it and rose above it. I'm so thankful to God that you have stepped up that first rung and begun the climb out of the depths. It's dark down there and it's cold and lonely. I know, I've been there before too. The saying in the game I used to play as a child so much rings in my ear right now....."Come out, come out wherever you are...." Come out of that hole Deb and remember WHO YOU belong to and who calls you HIS own! I love you so very much. When you hurt, I hurt, when you rejoice, I rejoice. I pray that I am your friend for all seasons. Know that I'm only a phone call away even though thousands of miles separate us now. I'm praying for you dearest friend and lifting your name to the throne. I love you.