All I Wanted Was A Cherry Coke

I like to think of my blog as a place where I can share most parts of my life...I mean I can't write about every single detail of my life (I wouldn't have any friends left if I did) but this blog gives me a place to come clean about things in my life that I'm not exactly proud of...ashamed of really...so here's another part of me that I need to spill...

I have a really bad habit at Walmart...really at all stores...

I sometimes avoid the people
that have set up a table in front of the store...
again, only sometimes...

(okay, sometimes alot)

I'm not proud to say that in the past I have purposely avoided:

1. The Unbreakable Dishware Lady
(I have three teenagers, who bring their friends over...
nothing is unbreakable)
2. Fingerprinting Your Child
(my three got fingerprinted at school, for free...
the guy didn't seem to appreciate that information)
3. The Race Car Guy With The Amazing Car Wax
(the last time a car of ours got waxed was 1986)
4. Old Time Fashion Photography
(yeah, I need another picture of me in a long wool dress,
wearing a floppy hat, holding a parasol...six is enough)
5. Story Books For Your Preschooler
(which included making payments
until said preschoolers were in college)
and lastly...
6. Pit Bull Puppies (enough said)

Now there's an art to table-set-up-in-front-of-the store avoidance:

whenever possible, enter the store by way of another door
(Walmart's garden center is perfect for this technique,
but you run the risk of getting sprayed by the water hose guy)

if you must walk by them, make eye contact...
but only if you can look shifty-eyed,
like you might go crazy at any minute and turn over their table...
they'll smile nervously at you but won't stop you

walking behind a large group of teenagers,
nobody, and I mean nobody, wants them stopping at their table

walking really fast like you're in an emergency situation
and need to get in and out quickly
(I've got a cherry coke emergency! quick! everybody out of my way!)

and finally, when you're pulling into the parking lot
and you notice a table out front, make it easy...
just pull out and go to another store

of course there are people that I never avoid...
veterans (I always buy a poppy flower)
Girl Scouts (I can eat my weight and yours in Thin Mints)
anything to do with our local kids
(ball teams, band, school supplies, etc)
and church groups
(we have some ladies in our county who can bake
a sour cream pound cake like nobody's business)

but for those that continue to set up their card tables
in the hope that I'll stop and buy a lifetime supply of fish vitamins,

sorry...I don't have time today, I really need to run, I've got to get back home, didn't you hear? we've got a cherry coke emergency!...where's that garden center door?

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