10/13/08

I Finally Framed My "Five Dogs Playing Poker" Picture

Last weekend, I got arrested by the cops...

okay, I didn't actually get arrested,
and he wasn't exactly a cop...

but its not very exciting to write:

Last weekend, I got reprimanded by a part time security guard...

It just doesn't have the same kind of pizazz.

We had free tickets for the Museum of Modern Art last weekend (freebie from Mark's company) so we drove in for an afternoon of culture...

and as we headed up to the first floor of the exhibit, there was this really cool abstract painting at the top of the stairs. So I reached into my purse, pulled out my cell phone, flipped it open...

and he was at my elbow like a flash...
(which was really amazing because 30 seconds earlier, he had been at the other end of the room, sitting on a pink metal chair, which I think was part of the exhibit...oops)

"sorry lady, you can't take pictures in here"

"okay, no problem..."

but after a few minutes,
I began to notice he was kinda following me around...
and not because I've lost a few pounds either...

Every time I stopped to look at a painting or another piece of art work, there he was. And for a little while I told myself, "its just a coincidence, he's just patrolling around..." But since paranoia runs like a river on my side of the family, its was only inevitable that after a few minutes, I began to think..."he thinks I'm going to take a picture! he's going to throw me out of the museum! he's going to have a friend who really is a cop arrest me! how am I going to survive in prison?"

So by the time we get to the next floor,
I'm now completely convinced of it...
and then it happens...
this second guy in a uniform starts to follow me...
every corner I turn, there he is.

but after a couple of minutes,
I noticed he had a broom in his hand...

okay, so it was the custodian...but it really could have happened...he could have been following me...I'm not completely paranoid...after all I'm pretty sure I heard this coming from the radio on his belt...

static..."Did she make it up there yet? Any sign of the perpetrator? Be on the look out for any sudden phone flipping. 10-4" static...

Yesterday I Was The 8th Dwarf - "Grouchy"

I hate it when I'm grouchy...I should really learn to stay off the computer when I'm like that...but then when would I get on?

10/12/08

The Gripe List - The Discount Store Edition

Okay, I'm having trouble thinking of anything to blog about other than things I want to complain about...so please forgive me if this blog gets kinda gripey...

I'll just jump right in...up first...

1. Checkout time at discount store:

(yes I have a enough that I need to number them)

Last night I went into our local discount store at 6:30 p.m. to pick up some groceries. I usually don't shop there for groceries but I needed other stuff you can't get at a regular grocery store so I had no choice. Anyway, after 45 minutes I was ready to check out. And when I came around the corner to get into line I ran right into a cart pile up. There were 4, yes 4, out of 20 lines opened, with 5 to 7 customers in each line. When I got handed my receipt, I turned around and counted the carts behind me.

There were 7.

And the checkout girl reached up and turned her light off.

2. Surly, unpleasant checkout girl running the register at the same discount store:

I know working on a Saturday night is the last thing I would want to do, but if you're hired to do a job, you need to do it to the best of your ability. Granted she might have been having a bad night, but I don't think so...I've been through her line before and she is just seems to always be in a bad mood. No greeting, no "how ya doin?", no nothing. And of course in a moment of pure, utter flesh, I poured on the sugar..."how are you doing?" "you guys sure are busy tonight" "wow, do you need me to help bag those groceries?" "can I take over the register for you so you can go on a break?" I think she actually considered that last offer for about 15 seconds.

And at least she didn't hiss like a cat at me like the last checkout person did whose line I went through...

Last Friday afternoon I ran into the same store for one thing and got into the express line. It was high school football night so I had on a t-shirt with our high school mascot on it. Its a wildcat. So the checkout guy looks at my shirt and says to me, "Are you a wildcat?" and then he hissed. I'm not making this up...he actually hissed at me, and then I think he might have even meowed. I'm not positive he meowed, because I was concentrating on keeping the bile down in my stomach and blood was rushing to my ears, but I'm pretty sure he did...

Back to the gripe list...

3. The fact that I'm grocery shopping on a Saturday night:

I think this one actually gripes me the most...that on a Saturday night, I'm pushing a grocery cart around a discount store, a cart filled with cleaning supplies, FDD's (frozen diet dinners), and toilet paper, and its the highlight of my evening. Ugh...

I guess that's enough of being gripey for tonight...I just realized I left a bag back at the store...

10/11/08

Some Good Advice: Never Ride A Ferris Wheel After Eating A Funnel Cake


I've spent a week hiding from a corn dog...
and today it found me...

Our church had a booth at our county fair this week
and I spent a lot of time there the last few days...

And there is nothing better in the world than fair food.

I know, I know...its full of salt, grease, and sugar...

but that's why its soooo goood...

So after a week of avoiding certain booths (all the food ones)
I couldn't resist the smell of Corny and his delicious friends anymore...

and so my fair week was made complete...complete with mustard!

What A Gal

Rosemary Clooney singing "Tenderly" right now,
on You Tube....sigh...

10/5/08

Life With Hayden: The Glamorous Life

Photobucket
Hayden is one of those leading men who is comfortable in any social situation...he doesn't let his international status as a super star effect his "every day" life...as we see in this photo by one of the hundreds of paparazzi that continually follow him. Caught exiting a local hot spot known as "The Winn Dixie", we catch a glimpse of Hayden in one of his most stylish moments. Notice the attention to detail that comes only from the most fashion-forward stars...who else has the confidence to wear Day-Glo Orange Ray-Bans... Brad Pitt? George Clooney? No, when it comes to style and sophistication, no one comes close to our young Mr. H. As we watch Hayden disappear into his awaiting mini-van, we can be confident that come this spring, those sunglasses will be the hottest accessory in town.

Loose Ends Vol. 1 No. 9

what a treat we had today to attend a beautiful, autumn afternoon wedding...held outside on the grounds of a 1oo year old historic home in our small county...a celebration of two young adults, in love with each other and in love with the Lord, starting their life together...white tables, fall flowers, chinese lanterns, great music and wedding cake...it was truly like a dream...

Kaitlin leaves to go back to school in a few short hours. As I write, she's sleeping between her dad and me, "the pickle in the middle" as we used to call her, back when she would climb into bed in the middle of the night as a little one. Rough evening for her, packing up, seeing one last friend tonight, feeling a little blue...

all evening I've been playing songs from the 40's and 50's. Makes me long for a time I never experienced but have dreamed about. Were things simpler then or have I romanticized it? I know life wasn't exactly a Hope and Crosby movie back then, and I'm sure Rosemary Clooney had problems, but it sure is nice to dream about once in awhile.

No Words

what to say to a broken heart?
what to say to a unrequited love?
what to say to a despairing spirit?
what to say to a tear-stained pillow?
what to say to a scattered dream?

what do I say?

10/3/08

Kaitlin's Journey: She's Home!

It is really interesting when your 18 year old child comes home for their first visit since going off to school...

I'll admit that I was worried she might feel uncomfortable...maybe a little uneasy coming home...seeing some changes, maybe not as many as she thought there might be, but still, some small changes. But she has done well with those small changes. So I have great hope for how she'll handle the big ones.

And the Lord has been so good to her...providing those people in her life that just lit up when they saw her this week. True and valuable relationships that inspire her, teach her, comfort her, and are just plain fun. Seeing her mentors love on her, talk with her, and encourage her. And she being able to share with them how she's grown and changed, what she's learned in just a few short weeks.

Life is about change. The good, the bad, the hard, and the easy.

A simple shopping story...

Her cart was dripping. The grocery cart she was pushing around the produce section of the big box store I had just entered was drippin...