7/10/09

This Morning

I have a pet sin I want to put down...a pet sin that comes around every so often, to the back door of my mind, where no one ever sees it. A pet sin I feed once in a while and scratch behind the ears. I hate this pet sin. And I want it gone.

As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, one of my greatest struggles in the last 14 years has been having judgemental thoughts with a touch of legalism thrown into the mix. I heard someone once describe themselves as a "saved Pharisee" and I have to admit, it sounded familiar.

When I have a judgemental or legalistic thought, I hate it.
It's sinful.
And God hates it.

Before I became a Christian, I used to confuse legalism with tradition. I attended a denominational church for a dozen or so years and I found great comfort in the traditions and ceremonies found in our 100 year old sanctuary. Traditions and ceremonies have their place, but they aren't a replacement for a relationship. And after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I began to understand that. The idea of turning traditions and ceremonies into legalistic requirements for a relationship really was never the problem for me.

No, my legalism has manifested itself in a more judgemental way...

don't they see?...
how come they are?...
if they would only...
I bet they don't...
I wish they were...

I've stroked this pet sin in the dark...where no one can see it, hearing it's self-righteous and prideful purr...and it makes me sick. I'm embarrassed to write this. It hurts to acknowledge that I've had these thoughts about people I love. Those closest to me. And of course, these thoughts have occurred about people I don't know too. People who walk through your life, you meet for a moment and never know any more about them other than a first name.

So as I continue this fight against flesh, against thoughts that want to be petted and fed, I want this pet sin gone. From Him and you, I seek forgiveness and restoration, with a repentive and sorrowful heart.

3 comments:

Lynn Stevens said...

Debbie it took a lot of courage to confess that and I commend you for it. You are not alone dear one, me your sister is guilty of the very same, I am ashamed to admit.
Confession is our first step now we have to bring every high and lofty thought under the obedience of Christ. We are forgiven and free we just have to walk in that freedom and that is where the hard part comes in. Making the choice not to allow that thought to linger when it enters our mind. The entering is not sin it is the lingering of the thought. Think on these things... Paul admonishes us and that we must make the choice.
I will be praying for you and I ask that you pray for me as we struggle to become pure in our thought life. I love you, Deb.

Barb said...

Deb, as Lynn said above, you are NOT alone. I'm sure if truth were to be told, every single one of us would be found guilty. The object of all of these hidden sins of ours is to get them out in the open and this, you have done. Sin likes the darkness and you have brought it to the light. I will add you and this request to my prayer list. I love you Deb and how good to know, God the Father LOVES and FORGIVES you so much more.

AngelRhoden said...

I think we all struggle with our "pets" that need to be put away for good. Isn't it great that He shows us these things for what they are so we can rely on Him to get them out of us, usually by humbling us, that soooo uncomfortable process. He's been showing me a few "pets" I have of my own and it's been a struggle letting them go! I'm thankful for you, Debbie!