Last summer my family made me go into a corn maze.
And I'm still not speaking to them.
It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever been coerced into doing. That and natural childbirth (I got coerced into that too when baby #3 decided to come before the epidural took).
Oh sure, a corn maze sounds like a great idea. Everyone says things like, "C'mon, it'll be fun! It can't be that hard! You'll love it!" And then there are all the charming props that they lull you in with, like the tractors and the scarecrows and the hay rides...
And at first, it doesn't seem so bad. It seems almost easy.
Like how calculus is almost easy.
And you find yourself saying things like, "Do I want a map? What? Why would I need a map? How hard can this be? I can figure this out, no problem!"
"Hey Newlyweds! Why are you walking so fast? What's your hurry? Me and dad are right behind you, I know you want to stick close to us. I mean, after all, we've only been together all. week. long."
"Where'd they go? Oh well, we don't need them, we got this figured out, right dear? And if we need to we can always ask the College Gal and the Graduate. They're right behind us, right?"
*1 hour later*
"Okay, I think this is the same deck we climbed up on a half hour ago. Please honey, can you go up there again? What can you see from up there?? Please tell me you can see the hard road..."
*my voice starting to get a little tense*
"You can't see it?? You can't even see the entrance???
*my voice now getting a tad shrill*
"Okay, well help me up there so I can take another look because obviously you're not looking right!!"
*bottom lip beginning to tremble, nose starting to run, and tears starting to flow*
*8 minutes later, after walking in yet another direction*
"That's it!!! I am not kidding!! You had better find a way of out of this field, or I am going to! lose! it!."
*The Hubs then spots a way out through 6 rows of corn. We walk through the corn, I collapse and kiss the hard road.*
I threw an ear of corn at them.